I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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