im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
