Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
