I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
