I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
