All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
