Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i think my cat just said my name.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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