did you get engaged???
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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