PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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