You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
