Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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