i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
