Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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