Will you blow on my dice?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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