Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
