Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
