Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
