can we get nightvision for the apartment?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
