I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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