Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
