I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
