Michael Bay diarrhea
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And then my night got REAL pukey
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
