It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
