She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
