So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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