In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
