Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
