Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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