dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You are a genius and a whore.
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