I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
