spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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