i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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