if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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