I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
