happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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