I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
