nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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