i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
