she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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