I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
