i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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