Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
