We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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