Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
