I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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