I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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