Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
