it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
