She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
