how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need moral support for this bender
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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