I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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